THE AWAKENING...
A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead
in your tracks, and somewhere the voice inside your head cries
out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to
subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears,
and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change or for happiness, safety and security to
come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with
the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not
Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always
fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any
guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you; and in
the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what
you are ... and that's OK (they are entitled to their own views
and opinions). And you learn the importance of loving and
championing yourself; and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they
did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only
thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean
what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for
you; and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand
on your own, and to take care of yourself; and in the process a
sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers...and you begin to accept
people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and human
frailties; and in the process a sense of peace and contentment
is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the
world around you, is as a result of all the messages and
opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you
begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look, and how much you should
weigh; what you should wear and where you should shop, and what
you should drive; how and where you should live, and what you
should do for a living;who you should marry, and what you
should expect of a marriage; the importance of having and raising children,
or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what
you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you
begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown,
or should never have bought into to begin with; and in the
process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that
there is power and glory in creating and contributing; and
you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking
for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not
the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds
together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to
save the world...and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and
the importance of setting boundaries, and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to
carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How
to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when
to walk away.
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a
relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful,
more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man
on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as
you would have them be.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You
learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with
love...and you learn that you don't have the right to demand
love on your terms ... just to make you happy.
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that
you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10, and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over
how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your
right to want things and to ask for the things that you
want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love, kindness, sensitivity and respect; and you won't settle
for less.
And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to
glorify you with his touch...and in the process you internalize
the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you
begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time
to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and
can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So
you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn, that for
the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve ...
and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for,
and that wishing for something to happen is different from
working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline
and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all
alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great
robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right
into and through your fears because you know that whatever
happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give
away the right to live life on your terms.
And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what
you think you deserve; and that sometimes bad things happen to
unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to
personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your
prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state -
the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and
resentment must be understood and redirected or they will
suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that
surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges
instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the
simple things we take for granted, things that millions of
people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator,
clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by
yourself; and you to make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never, ever, settle for less than your heart's
desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen
to the wind.
And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and
to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side
you take a stand; you take a deep breath, and you begin to
design the life you want to live as best as you can.